从文化的自豪到向十架谦卑
From Cultural Pride to the Humility of the Cross
By Lin Yutang (Compiled from his writings)
很多人读过我的书，知道我是那个用英文向西方介绍中国文化的作家。但我人生最重要的一本书，不是写给读者的，而是写给上帝的——那就是我的《信仰之旅》。
Many have read my books and know me as the writer who introduced Chinese culture to the West. Yet, the most significant book of my life was not written for readers, but for God—my spiritual autobiography, From Pagan to Christian.
我出生在一个基督教家庭，父亲是漳州坂仔村的一位牧师。按理说，我应该顺理成章地成为一名基督徒。但在年轻时，我做了一个叛逆的决定：我离开了教会。
I was born into a Christian family; my father was a pastor in the village of Banzai, Zhangzhou. By all logic, I should have naturally become a Christian. However, in my youth, I made a rebellious decision: I left the church.
1. 文化的浪子：为什么我曾拒绝基督教？
The Cultural Prodigal: Why I Once Rejected the Cross
那时候，我感到一种深深的文化断裂。在教会学校里，我们被教导要远离中国的传统，仿佛做一个基督徒就必须切断与中国文化的血脉。我觉得自己被“剥夺了国籍”，成了一个没有根的人。
At that time, I felt a deep cultural fracture. In missionary schools, we were taught to distance ourselves from Chinese traditions, as if becoming a Christian meant severing the bloodline of our culture. I felt "denationalized," a man without roots.
我也无法接受当时某些僵化的教条。我想，如果上帝是爱，为什么还要用那样严厉的、神学化的面孔来吓唬我们？于是，我转身离开了。我告诉自己，我要做一个“异教徒”（Pagan），我要回到中国博大精深的文化里去寻找安身立命的真理。
I also could not accept certain rigid dogmas of the time. I thought, if God is love, why frighten us with such a stern, theological face? So, I turned away. I told myself I would be a "Pagan," returning to the profound depths of Chinese culture to find the truth upon which to settle my life.
2. 在文化的华厦中流连
Wandering in the Majestic Halls of Culture
在随后的三十年里，我在中国文化的海洋里畅游。我曾流连在**儒家**的华厦，那里有庄严的人伦秩序；我曾登上**道家**的奇峰，领悟顺其自然的逍遥；我也曾远眺**佛家**的深谷，思考生命的虚空与无常。
For the next thirty years, I swam in the ocean of Chinese culture. I lingered in the grand mansion of Confucianism, admiring its solemn moral order; I climbed the mystical peaks of Taoism, grasping the freedom of letting nature take its course; I gazed into the deep valleys of Buddhism, contemplating the emptiness and impermanence of life.
这些中国先哲的智慧确实令我着迷，它们像一盏盏精美的**烛光**，照亮了我的书房。我觉得自己已经找到了答案，不需要那位外来的神了。
The wisdom of these sages truly captivated me. They were like exquisite candles, illuminating my study. I felt I had found the answers and had no need for that foreign God.
3. 烛光与太阳：日光之下的降服
Candlelight and the Sun: Surrender in the Light
然而，随着年岁渐长，我发现内心深处依然有一个无法填满的空洞。儒家的伦理很好，但它无法给我赦罪的平安；道家的逍遥很美，但它无法擦干人在苦难中的眼泪。正如我在书中所写：“人不能只靠自己活着。人需要与一个比自己更大的力量相连。”
Yet, as I grew older, I discovered a void in my heart that remained unfilled. Confucian ethics were noble, but they could not offer the peace of forgiveness. Taoist freedom was beautiful, but it could not wipe away tears in suffering. As I wrote, "Man cannot live by himself alone. He needs to be connected with a Power greater than himself."
"Straddling the cultures of East and West; critiquing the literature of the universe."
直到有一天，我重新翻开圣经，当我读到耶稣的话语时，我被一种从未有过的光芒所震慑。孔子和老子是伟大的探索者，他们在寻找真理；但耶稣不同，他说话时，仿佛**他就是真理本身**。
Until one day, I reopened the Bible. When I read the words of Jesus, I was struck by a light I had never known before. Confucius and Laozi were great seekers, searching for truth; but Jesus was different. When He spoke, He spoke as if He Himself was the Truth.
孔孟老庄的智慧，是黑夜里精美的蜡烛；
但耶稣基督，是清晨升起的太阳。"The wisdom of the sages is a beautiful candle in the night;
but Jesus Christ is the sun rising in the morning."
那一刻，我明白了。当太阳升起时，我们可以吹灭蜡烛了。因为在太阳的光辉下，蜡烛的光显得那么微不足道，却又被完全成全。
In that moment, I understood. When the sun rises, we can blow out the candle. For in the glory of the sun, the candle's light seems insignificant, yet it is fully fulfilled.
4. 归家
Homecoming
于是，在花甲之年，我这位游荡了半生的浪子，终于回家了。我并不是背叛了中国文化，而是带着中国文化的深厚底蕴，更深地读懂了上帝的启示。基督教不再是洋教，耶稣也不再是外人，他是我灵魂一直渴望的归宿。
Thus, at the age of sixty, this prodigal who had wandered for half a lifetime finally came home. I did not betray Chinese culture; rather, I brought its profound heritage to deeper understand God's revelation. Christianity was no longer a "foreign religion," and Jesus was no longer a stranger. He was the home my soul had always longed for.
亲爱的朋友，也许你也像当年的我一样，在文化的自豪或理性的骄傲中徘徊。愿你不要满足于烛光，抬头看看那位正等着你的太阳。
Dear friend, perhaps you, like I once was, are wandering in cultural pride or intellectual arrogance. May you not be satisfied with mere candlelight, but look up to the Sun that is waiting for you.
